Serving Others First Is Selfish

This is a summary of my latest video.  If you’d rather watch that, you can do it here.

I love the phrase “self-care isn’t selfish.”  In fact, that used to be the name of my private Facebook Group.  But, it doesn’t go far enough.  You see, it’s really selfish to serve others first.  I know, I know.  You’ve grown up hearing how we should take care of the needs of others, before we take care of ourselves.  I did, too.  Or, at least I thought that was the message I was getting, and that’s really all that matters.

But, here’s the thing.  You actually serve others out of your overflow.  That’s right.  So, if you don’t take care of yourself first, there’s probably very little overflow left to care for others, right?  I know not a lot of people have been traveling by plane in the last year, but think back to the last flight you took.  Did you listen to the safety presentation, while you were on the runway?  Lots of people don’t, but one of the most important things you hear in that safety presentation is that in the unlikely event that the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling, you need to put on YOUR mask, before you help anyone near you that needs help.  That usually means your child, grandchild, parent, or grandparent.  Think about that for a minute.  These people will be best served by you — even in a potentially life threatening situation — if you take care of you first. 

The way I do this is to schedule my self-care each week.  Now, remember, that does not have to mean going to the spa, or even taking a long hot bath.  Sometimes taking care of me means cleaning out a closet, making a grocery list, or paying the bills.  Every day it means journaling.  I follow Julia Cameron’s morning pages practice and write three handwritten pages EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  Whatever I know I need to do to take care of myself, I do.  That way, when it’s time to serve someone else, whether that is a family member, a friend, a client, or someone I met on social media, I have that overflow I need to serve them in the best way possible.

Do you agree?  Do you want to hear more?  You are always welcome in my Power in Stillness Facebook group.  Right now, we are planning our first in-person retreat in almost two years.  You can find all the details about that by going to Lost In Wonderland Weekend Retreat.  We’ll be experiencing new ways to care for ourselves, accessing our own inner wisdom, and remembering who we are.  I’d love it if you can join us.